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[31 Jul 2009|02:57am] |
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Feeling this shitty has really motivated me for change.
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[25 Mar 2009|04:32am] |
Life is crazy. Severe ups and downs lately. Rebecca and I broke up, and to deal with feeling depressed over that, I've been partying like crazy. Trying to ignore everything negative and spend time with friends for now. I feel extremely manic depressive. Whatever.
I'm giving up some things for a month, and to compensate, I've been making a lot more movies lately. Check it out:
My house now has a youtube channel, http://www.youtube.com/1731edenside . I'm stoked about it.
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[05 Feb 2009|05:14am] |
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I'm surprisingly happier now than I have been in a long time. It's weird what a simple change of scenery can do.
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| I am fucked up. |
[11 Jan 2009|12:46am] |
On top of the normal winter time depression, in no particular order...
- Girlfriend is leaving
- Gotta find a place to live
- Increasing back and neck pains
- No money
- Record player is broken
- Hate my job
- Frustrated with most of my friends
- It's cold as fuck
- Stress induced sickness makes me cough up blood at work
This shit is just starting, and its already the hardest winter yet. It's getting harder and harder to appreciate what I have.
I have no idea how to deal with all of this shit. Nothing works.
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| typical shit. blah blah blah. |
[02 Jan 2009|06:12pm] |
I called in sick to work today because I wanted to hang out with my friends and go to lunch with Rebeccas family. So far all I've done is listen to depressing records and play video games by myself. Rebecca is moving back into her parents house at the end of this month. I am completely terrified over how shitty and alone I'm going to feel.
Maybe if I weren't such a bummer all the time, I wouldn't be in this situation?
I've decided I'm not going to smoke weed at all through the month of January. Feeling like this makes it rough.
If anybody wants to hang out tonight or tomorrow give me a call.
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[06 Nov 2008|02:15pm] |
Shot in about an hour or so. I did all of the camera and editing. Get stoked.
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[09 Oct 2008|02:23am] |
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Today I called around to some friends, to see about hanging out. I ended up feeling too depressed to want to leave my apartment, so I stayed inside and played baseball on SNES by myself for a few hours. I'm 3 and 1 with the Giants. I've had the past three days off of work and I've done absolutely nothing worth talking about. Sometimes I surprise myself in how predictable I am.
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[01 Oct 2008|02:49am] |
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I can't tell if this feeling of depression, coupled with the intense and constant fear of being alone, is getting closer and closer to reality, or if I'm just getting tired of fooling myself.
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| Unrelateable. |
[21 Sep 2008|12:57am] |
I've lost faith in my friends again
and I never really had faith in myself.
Just when things feel like they're looking up, I can't help it but make myself feel miserable. I guess I get to spend another night at my apartment by myself, falling asleep to kung fu movies and feeling depressed. Great.
Can't wait for work tomorrow.
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[22 Aug 2008|02:55pm] |
The past week or so has been pretty awesome.
Going to Bloomington for a surprise party. Drinking 8 cups of Root Beer from a keg then feeling like I'm going to pass out. Seeing Black Cross play for the first time in forever. Getting stoked on POGS. Biking a lot more than usual. Staying up late and playing Super Mario 3 with friends. Hanging out with people that I've known for a long time but have never really gotten close to. Watching sweet movies about samurais and ewoks. Reading a sweet graphic novel about a samurai.Seeing dogs chase some ducks through an obstical course at the state fair.
I feel better outside of those 30 hours a week at Kroger. I need a new job.
PS. Do what cha do, make it work for ya.
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[04 Jul 2008|07:01pm] |
Every day:
Depression, boredom, video games, loneliness, movies, failure, work work work work, internet, work, junk food, depression
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[05 May 2008|03:40pm] |
Things to be stoked about:
+ Playing drums in a Minor Threat cover band
+ Paper Lanterns show on Sunday
+ Hanging out with my few worth while friends
+ Warm weather and bike rides
+ Sitting in lawn chairs outside of my apartment and listening to records
Things to be bummed about
- Being broke because of bills
- Working at a job I hate for 30 hours a week
- Long bus rides to work
- Friends that never call me
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[01 May 2008|12:48pm] |
Two days ago, I went into my moms work, and she is in tears. I asked her what's wrong, and apparently this shithead she works with called her a "fat bitch". I sit there for about 10 minutes, drinking a milkshake, giving him death stares, mouthing curse words to him, and resisting urges to slam his head against a counter. Eventually my mom and I both cooled down, and I went to work. I kinda forgot about it (other than the fact that my coworkers called me a pussy for not beating him up.) Cool, whatever.
Then last night, Rebecca and I are getting pizza. She is walking in, and I'm waiting in the car. She comes back out with the pizza, in tears, because some girl inside said something along the lines of "Chubby girls need food." Again, my body filled with hate and it took everything I had not to walk in and knock her teeth down her throat.
I know that I have anger management issues sometimes, but I swear to god, if one more person makes somebody I love cry by calling them fat, they will see a fury of repressed rage come from deep inside of me that nobody has ever seen from me. I am completely against violence. I've never been in a real fight. I believe it very rarely solved anything, but god dammit, some things you just can't control. What kind of fucking scumbag worthless human being says that shit?
I fucking hate the human race.
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[22 Mar 2008|12:56am] |
Today I rode a bike for the first time in 6 months.
I did not realize how out of shape I am.
Bike - 1
Danny - 0
I am defeated.
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[03 Mar 2008|06:04pm] |
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Having my own apartment has been awesome so far. Taking the bus to work is kind of weak, and I am learning who to invite over and who to not invite over, but other than that it has been great so far. Living with Rebecca is fun. My parents wanting to constantly take me out to dinner now is fun too.
I cannot wait for it to get warmer so I can ride my moped around. Hopefully everything will be up and working by then.
Paper Lanterns 5 day tour in April? So far we're playing in Bloomington, and most likely Columbus. Both with Defiance Ohio and Delay. Excited excited excited.
( New Apartment + The Last 3 Weeks )
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[10 Feb 2008|04:46pm] |
Work sucks and I am tired all of the time.
My friends very rarely call me,
It's cold outside and I'm broke.
But I'm moving into an apartment with my girlfriend in 5 days,
and right now I'm packing up my vhs tapes and listening to records in my room.
I realized,
This feels nice.
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[10 Jan 2008|02:38am] |
Can't relate to joy, he tries to speak and
Can't begin to say.
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[02 Jul 2007|09:39am] |
What's up?
Oh, that's cool.
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